Operation Gratitude: Technology

To anyone who spends time around me, it's no surprise that I love technology. My wife is most likely tired of hearing me say I want to control everything from my phone (i.e. the lights, garage door, TV, car, etc.), but I geek out over cool technology. I love my Samsung Galaxy SIII phone, my laptop, our iPad, my 60-inch TV (Kristen calls it a monstrosity). I love technology! I'm a little like Kip in that:

I most love what technology does for us. Technology allows us to connect instantly. Email, instant messaging, texts, phone calls, and now video calls/chats allow us to keep in contact with friends and family, as well as conduct business in real time around the world. I love being able to have my daughter see and talk with her grandparents, who are 1000 miles away, whenever she wants. Internet in the palm of our hands allows us to keep up-to-date on what's happening in the world, and connect another way: social networks.

I'm grateful for social networks, because that's technically how I met my wife. :) Without Mark Zuckerberg, who knows where I would be now. Social networks and blogs allow us to share memories and have shared experiences we might never have had otherwise. My phone has a digital camera in it that allows me to save memories visually, so that I can share them with others (and myself in the future). We take so many of these things for granted nowadays, but technology is quite incredible.

From a church perspective, technology also allows us to have access to all of the church materials, no matter where we are or what we're doing, and it allows the words of the prophets to be broadcast throughout the world. I am grateful for technology, and can't wait to see what the future holds. We'll have flying cars before you know it.

Operation Gratitude: My Wife

This is another one of those mushy posts, it's true. This time it's about my beautiful wife, Kristen. I know I've written a lot about her in the past, but this is different.

Four years ago today, we spoke for the first time. It seems like yesterday and yet like a million years ago. When we first met, I was surprised at all our similarities - we seemed to have so much in common. But let's be honest - how many guys wouldn't be amazed to find a girl who was so into Homestarrunner that she'd make a Homestar / Marzipan wedding cake topper? Or someone who knew more about Lord of the Rings and Star Wars than they did? Sometimes when we go see a comic book movie or another action movie, Kristen's mom asks her why we don't go see what Kristen wants to see. Little does she know. :)

Although we had many similarities, we were also very different. As all you married people out there know, two people who grow up in different families really come from different cultures. Kristen is from a family of artists - I'm from a family of business people. We just think differently. We had different concepts about how to communicate, cleaning, the holidays, spending time with family, how to raise children...we're still in disagreement about when our daughter is allowed to pierce her ears and wear makeup, in fact. Kristen says 8 is old enough for ear piercing, but makeup is for junior high. I say ears at 12, makeup whenever. I said let's compromise - she can wear makeup once she gets her ears pierced. Kristen doesn't think that's a satisfactory compromise.

But despite our differences, or maybe because of them, we've learned to work well together. Kristen has opened my world to so many new things that I never would have even considered before, both in terms of art/music/movies, as well as how to think about things. I've learned to be a better communicator, a better listener, a better friend, and certainly a better husband and father. And I hope I've been able to teach her something along the way as well.

I'm grateful she is patient with my shortcomings. She doesn't get upset with me when I'm too opinionated, or have to be right about something, or my neat-freak tendencies come to the surface. She encourages me in my goals, in my hopes and dreams. She is my cheerleader, my confidant, my best friend. She's also the best mother to my little girl I could have ever hoped for.

Operation Gratitude: Scarlett

I love being a dad. It could very well be one of the coolest things ever. I love having this tiny person wandering around the house, making messes wherever she goes. I love when she comes up to me with a book and sits in my lap so I will read to her. I love when she cuddles up on my chest after her bottle, right before bed. I love how she kicks her right leg when we carry her very messy self from the high chair to the bath. I love how she still grabs one foot and holds it up to her face (like a blanket) when she drinks her bottle.

Every day she's growing bigger, getting more curious about the world, imitating more of what we do and say. She's growing up, and it's happened so fast. Where did the last 14 months go? I must really be getting old to say this, but it truly seems like yesterday that she was so small I worried I would break her by holding her the wrong way (little did I know how tough babies really are). She keeps outgrowing clothes and shoes, and we say to each other, "Can you believe she used to fit into this?"

She is our sweetheart, our princess, our little squeaker (she'll probably think Squeaker is her name before she learns it's actually Scarlett). We both love her so much, and I am so grateful she came into our lives when she did. She was a miracle for our little family, and is just so much fun. I can't wait to see her grow into a young woman (and yet, I can certainly wait - I also want her to stay a baby forever). I am so grateful that Heavenly Father blessed our home with our sweet Miss Scarlett.

Operation Gratitude: School

I've tried this in the past, and didn't get very far. Last year I was going to do it but didn't get any posts done. Stuff came up, like a baby and graduate school applications. But I borrowed this from my friend Jamie (can I say we're friends, Jamie?). Either way, I borrowed the idea. I have so many blessings in my life, and "in nothing doth man offend God...save those who confess not his hand in all things."

Number one on my list: school. Kristen says I'm weird, because I've always loved going to school. I love learning new things, sitting in class listening to lectures (usually), studying and taking tests (seriously - it's weird). Now I'm back at BYU after being gone for almost five years, and I love it. I don't like continuously searching for a summer internship, interviewing with tons of companies, and not knowing what the future holds. I wish I had that sorted out, so I could focus on school, but alas. Not yet.

My official MBA photo

Being in the MBA program is so different than anything I've ever experienced. I really feel like part of a community - I know my professors and they know me by name (mostly). We are with the same 40 people each day for class, so I feel like I've made a ton of new friends. More than I've ever made at school before. I'm excited for their successes, and they for mine. 

And even though I said I don't like the whole interviewing process, I feel more confident about it than I ever did in the past. I look back and wonder how I ever got a job in the first place back in the day, with the state my resume was in, as well as my interviewing "technique." This program has helped me to improve the way I present myself like nothing I ever could have done before.

There are so many awesome things I could say about my schooling experience - I'm just grateful to be back in school, taking on this new adventure in my life.

Graduate School and Turning One

Holy cow - I haven't blogged in about 4 months. Sorry about that guys. But I have a bit of an excuse - well, at least for the past two months, anyway, because I'm in graduate school. And not just any graduate school, mind you. I'm in the Marriott School of Business at BYU, pursuing my MBA in Marketing. Wow, that's a mouthful, but I've gotten used to saying it. To be honest, talking about it kinda makes me feel like this guy:

I'm not that bad, though (I hope). This is a good example of how NOT to network, by the way. Anyway, so school is what takes up so much of my time these days. I have six core MBA classes that I have with the same section of people for every class. We are split into study groups of four or five students, and my group meets every day when we're not in class. We all have families and want to be able to be at home with them as much as possible, so we decided that we'd meet until 5 p.m. each day (like a job). We split up the readings and share them with each other during that time. It actually frees up time to work on other things, and is much more effective than all of us doing everything each day.

I'm also on the hunt for a summer internship, which is really what stresses me out right now. I'm working hard on interviewing skills, resume updating, applying for internships, etc. This coming week, I'm headed to Indianapolis for an MBA job conference, and have one interview lined up already (I wish I had more). Once I have a good internship lined up, I think I'll be able to rest a little easier. 

Also, at the beginning of this month we celebrated Scarlett's first birthday! She had refined sugar for the first time (she's had stuff with sugar in it like apple sauce or baby treats, but no candy or cake, etc.), and she loved it. Here's a picture of the sweet thing enjoying her cake:

All in all, it's been a busy few months, but we're loving life and doing well. I don't get to perform in A Christmas Carol this year (too busy), but Kristen does! She's playing a role she played once, five years ago, and is excited about playing again. Break a leg baby!

Beauty and Feminism

This started as a Facebook status, but I think it needed more. Being a new(ish) father of a daughter, I am becoming more and more aware of how the media shapes the "ideal" image of women. As a young man, I certainly saw a lot of advertising that showed off the muscular bodies of male celebrities. And more and more, you see buff, shirtless guys in movies (i.e. Thor, Captain America, Twilight, etc.), so there is certainly some external pressure on guys to look good, but nothing like there is on young women. (Not to mention, I don't think guys care as much - they think their bodies look good, even if they aren't.)

I don't want my daughter to define herself by how she looks. I want her to be healthy and take care of her appearance, of course. We should all try to look our best. But I don't want her to think that she needs to look a certain way to be considered beautiful or to feel she is of worth. I applaud groups like Beauty Redefined for seeking to share an appropriate view of body image.

But looking through some images, I found something that went in the wrong direction: specifically the Purple Paper Project at BeautyIsInside.com. At first, it sounded good - critique offensive ads with some snarky humor. And some of the images are spot on. But then I found some like this and this, that aren't talking about beauty at all, but just attack traditional gender roles.

I come from a home where my dad went to work, and my mom stayed at home with the kids. That was my parents' choice, and it worked for them. I am grateful I always had someone there when I got home from school. My wife and I have made the decision that she will stay at home with the kids, and I'll work outside the home to provide for my family.

So when did wanting to be a mother (and especially a SAHM) become a bad thing? I still can't believe this image. It says, "I used to have dreams. Now I just pretend that cooking and cleaning are all the fulfillment I need." Really? You don't find any fulfillment in being a mother? Because my fulfillment comes when my little girl smiles at me or lays her head on my shoulder. In that moment, I couldn't care less about any achievement at work. My coworker told me about an America's Next Top Model episode, where the girls were supposed to do a photo of what they had wanted to be when the grew up. One girl had wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, and they reamed her for it. Why are women's rights important, unless they want to stay at home with their kids? Because then they're either being oppressed, or should be mocked for it?

And again, is it evil for marketers to advertise their projects to the people who are most likely to buy them? I personally do a lot of cleaning in my house - I'm much more of a neat freak than Kristen is - I even get excited about cleaning supplies like the Swiffer, and my mom bought me a Shark steam mop for Christmas. Not for Kristen - for me - because I asked for it (I don't think Kristen's even used it). But that doesn't mean I'm offended by this ad because I don't relate to the woman shown in the picture. I don't demand that there must be a man pictured cleaning instead.

Bottom line: proper body image=good, attacking people because they identify with traditional gender roles=bad.

Marriage and Optimism

Seeing as how I recently had my third wedding anniversary, I thought I'd say a few words on marriage (you know, being an expert and all with my many years of experience). I recently watched a TED talk about the optimism bias. We tend to overestimate the good things in our future, and downplay the bad (even confronted with the statistics). Although everyone knows that about 40% of marriages end in divorce, ask any newlyweds how they feel about their marriage going the distance. Virtually all new couples will tell you they think they will be in it for the long haul.

I think that's a great thing. Because how miserable would it be if you went into marriage thinking it would fail? If we are too cautious and too realistic about the future, we may be doomed to have a negative one. But the interesting thing about the optimism bias is that it's often a self-fulfilling prophecy. If we believe that good things are in store for us and act as if they are, they often come to fruition. And those who are optimistic about life (rather than realistic) are happier than those who aren't, even when faced with adversity.

Think about it this way. The optimistic person goes into a test thinking, "I'm a genius!" If they ace the test, they think, "I knew it. I'm going to get straight A's." If they do poorly, it was just bad luck that time, or they weren't quite as prepared as they should have been. But they'll do better next time, and they're still happy. The person who is not optimistic goes into the test thinking, "I probably won't do well." When they don't do well, they think, "I knew it." If they do perform well, they think it was just a fluke, and are still depressed.

Marriage is hard. I've said that before, but it really is the hardest thing I've ever done. I just counted in my head, and I can name a dozen friends my age who have been married and divorced. It seems like I keep hearing about friends who are getting divorced, and my heart goes out to them. I would never judge them for their decisions to divorce, because I don't know the situation. I know that marriage is harder than I ever would have imagined going into it, and I'll bet most married couples would agree. Nothing can prepare you for sharing your life and everything about yourself with another person. From weird quirks, to giving up some of your freedom, conferring with someone else before making purchases (or any big decisions), and just being a responsible adult. It's hard.

But it's worth it. Oh is it worth it. To me, marriage means never having to say good night at the door. It means not having to search for a date to the party. It's a hand to hold at the theater, someone to sit by at church, someone to cuddle with on the couch while reading a book or watching TV, someone to make dinner for (or who will make dinner for you). Marriage is the reason to come home from work at the end of the day, the reason to buckle up and drive safely, the reason to keep improving yourself (it's my motivation to exercise). Marriage means never needing to be alone. Above all, marriage means unconditional love and service.

Don't be fooled - marriage is something that you have to work at. You don't "fall into" love, and you don't "fall out of" love. You choose to be in love. You choose to actively love each other. You choose to accept quirks and be a responsible adult. You choose to share your life, and you choose to forgive.

      Have you ever wished for an endless night?
      Lassoed the moon and the stars and pulled that rope tight?
      Have you ever held your breath and asked yourself will it ever get better than tonight?

Yes, it gets even better. But only if we both choose to make it so.