Heroes

While driving back to Portland from Medford last week, I listened to the Focus on the Family Ministry. I'm not sure if that's what the station was called, or if it was a radio show on a local Christian radio station or something. But I heard some interesting things about marriage.

The host had on a couple who had written a book about marriage and how to keep your marriage alive, loving, etc. They had some really good insight into male and female psyche, and why we say or do certain things. One particularly interesting point for me was that when a woman asks her husband of 20 years, "Do these make me look fat?" she isn't really asking that question. What she really wants and needs is validation (as we all do) that even though she's gotten older, had a couple kids, maybe put on some weight...in other words, that she's changed from how she looked when she was a new bride...that even though she looks different, that her husband still loves her and is still attracted to her. She wants to know that he still thinks she's the most beautiful thing he ever laid eyes on. It's not so much a matter of wondering if she really looks fat in those jeans (although I'm sure there is some element of that) - it's more a question of, "Do you still love me?"

Another thing mentioned in the show was that many women were surveyed about what they want their husbands to know. The couple on the radio show said they figured they would get a long laundry list of things their husbands needed to do better. Instead, most women said, "I want him to know that even though he doesn't feel like he does enough or is good enough, I just want him to know that he really is my hero."

A hero.

An interesting word. I think a good definition of a hero is someone who does a brave or courageous deed, or is one who has noble qualities and serves as a model for others.

I hope that someday the woman I love can say that I am her hero.