I'll Just Make This Easy For You

Whenever I hear those words at work, I cringe. Because I know exactly what that means. For those of you who have never been to my restaurant at lunchtime, allow me to translate.

"I'll just make this easy for you" equals, "I'll just have a water, with the soup, salad and breadsticks."

Now, maybe for some of you that sounds easy. Not for me. Let me explain. Soup, salad and breadsticks is not done by anyone in the kitchen. It's done by me - the server. I make your salad. I get your breadsticks. I pour your soup. I get your drinks. And then I run back and forth, bringing out 50 more bowls of soup, 25 more salads, and 18 more baskets of breadsticks for you, only to have you show me your gratitude with a $0.62 tip.

So please, don't make things "easy" on me. Make it difficult - please. I would love to have to work incredibly hard to get you your one entree and one or maybe two bowls of soup or salad that you'll eat along with it. Please - make me earn that 5% tip.

Look alike

On occasion, I've had people tell me I look like some famous person. There are a couple that I get consistently. The first was Pippin (Billy Boyd) off the Lord of the Rings movies. I think a big part of that was that my hair used to be long, although I've still gotten it since cutting my hair short.




Number two was the guy from the movie The Invisible (Justin Chatwin). I had a lot of people tell me I looked like that guy, although I also think it had something to do with the hair.




And then there's one more. This is the one I get most consistently. Last week at work, even, I had three different guests tell me that I looked like this guy: Edward Norton (The Italian Job, The Illusionist).


Now, I don't know if these actors and I share a common likeness or not. I mean, the myheritage.com thing told me I look like Mark Ruffalo, Matthew Perry, Bob Saget and Haley Joel Osment. But heck - I dunno. Let's hear your opinions.

Tipping (and not of cows)

Before becoming a server, I wasn't the best tipper in the world. In fact, my girlfriend told me a story yesterday about one time when we went to dinner and the guy who served us knew her. After we left, he essentially told her how I was a lousy tipper and that she shouldn't have anything to do with me as a result. In all honesty, I don't know what I left him, but I can proudly state that I have since become a better tipper.

Now, I'm not going to judge those people who don't tip well. They likely don't know, as I didn't. That nice couple with a baby the other night who left me NO tip, or those girls at lunch who order never-ending soup, salad and breadsticks, making me run around constantly and who consistently leave me $1.00 tips, or even the girl yesterday who left me $0.61. I think a lot of people just don't understand that one of the rules of dining out at a real restaurant (aka not McDonald's) is that you are supposed to tip your server.

Many people (even my dad until I told him recently) don't know how much servers make. Take a wild guess. Most people say "minimum wage." Wrong. Want to know what I make an hour? $2.16.

That's right - I only make two bucks an hour, and the rest of my salary is made up from tips. Ever wonder why there's a gratuity added on to parties of eight or more? Because sometimes people won't tip unless it's added into the bill. People keep asking the waiter for more stuff, making them run back into the kitchen time and time again, and then leave their thanks in the form of sixty-one cents tacked onto the bill.

And at Olive Garden, it's even worse. In order to guarantee people receive good service, as per company policy, servers are only allowed to serve three tables at a time (at many restaurants, servers often have 5 or 6 or even more tables). That makes sense at the OG. At other restaurants, you only take their order and bring out their drinks and (maybe) their meal - often someone else even does that for them. Those restaurants don't have the revolving salad and breadsticks that the OG has, which requires more running back to the kitchen. Now, this higher level of service (the server will even always try to be the one who brings out your food, unlike other restaurants) should translate into higher tips...but it doesn't. Especially in Provo.

The common law of tipping is 15%. Not 10%. Not $5 regardless of the size of the check (my friend got a $5 tip on a $100 bill yesterday). Tip generously - especially if you received great service. In Provo, remember that the people serving you are often poor college students, just like you. If you can't afford to leave a generous tip (at least 15%), don't go out to eat. Go to McDonald's. And definitely do not insult the server by telling them their service was only worth about sixty-two cents. They're working hard to ensure you enjoy your dining experience.