Insanity

I'm doing it again.

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Soup

"Which soup should I buy, Lord?"

"Campbell's, my child."
"Thank you. Lord - should I take State St. or 800 East to the mall?"

"State Street."

"Thank you. Lord - who should I marry?"

"Her name is Vanessa Jones - you will meet her at a single adult activity in March 2012. She'll be wearing a yellow polka-dot dress with white flats."

Do these sound a little silly to anyone? I'm sure we've all heard the story about the person who was so spiritual, he even waited for divine confirmation over which soup he should buy. I've always heard it mentioned as an example of what to avoid, but I once heard it spoken of as an admirable trait.

Really? Do we really expect God to plan out every minute of every day of our lives for us? I'm going to say no. In fact, in almost every situation in daily life, I'd expect the Lord to answer us in this way: "I don't really care." (Well, He'd probably phrase it differently - something like: "It mattereth not unto me.")

The thing is, God gave you a brain - He expects you to use it. When He gives you direction, it isn't going to be over every little thing. For example, in the early days of the Church, the elders were sent out to preach the Gospel, and wanted to know what way they should go, and by what means. The Lord tells them, point blank, that it doesn't really matter to Him, so long as they are righteous and doing His work:

"Let there be a craft made, or bought, as seemeth you good, it mattereth not unto me..." D&C 60:5 ("Which soup should I buy?")

"Wherefore, go ye and preach my gospel, whether to the north or to the south, to the east or to the west, it mattereth not, for ye cannot go amiss." D&C 80:3 ("Which route should I take?")

Does that mean that God has no plans for us, or that He desires to play no part in our lives? Of course not. It just means He doesn't concern Himself with unimportant things. I've also heard people say things like, "But if it's important to you, it's important to God, no matter how small it is." To that I say, not necessarily. That's why God has said many times, "It mattereth not unto me." In other words, "It doesn't bear any real importance on the course of your life, so you decide whatever you want." The choice is up to you - that's why you have free will.

That's not to say we should never seek divine guidance. Prayer is there for a reason. There are some very important decisions that should definitely be prayed about (i.e. careers, choosing a spouse, etc.). But even in those situations, God will probably not tell us exactly what to do. We're here to figure that out for ourselves, and to do that we have to make the hard decisions.

For example, I never asked the Lord who I should marry. Instead, I found a girl who felt right to me. She was a good person, I enjoyed being in her company, I cared about her deeply, we had similar values, and I felt that there was no one else I'd rather be with for the rest of my existence (luckily the feeling was mutual). When we both knew that, we made our decision, then asked the Lord if it was a good one. And you know what? He said yes. You're both good people and you obviously love each other - if you keep it up and work hard, you'll be able to make it last. You have my blessing - don't mess it up. (That's more or less what He said, anyway.)

But I also know people who believe that everything that happens to them is the will of the Lord. If virtually anything happens to them, they think it must have "happened for a reason." Oh - do we also believe in fate, then? Do we believe our lives are predestined, and that God has

planned out every part of our time on this earth? Does nothing we choose really matter, since God will place us on the right path anyway? Is everything that happens to us divine providence?

Now I'm quite confident when I say this...no. I think people assume God intervenes in our lives MUCH more than He actually does. Why didn't I get that job? The Lord must not have wanted me to get it. Why can't we have a baby? The Lord must be preparing us for something else. Why am I still single? Because my wife, who the Lord has hand-picked for me, is still out there, and we won't meet until March 2012.

I've railed about this in other posts (primarily on Facebook), but things don't necessarily "happen for a reason." Usually...life just happens - that's what we're here for, after all. The Lord does not give us trials in the sense that He causes them. What He does do, however, is allow life to happen, which of necessity means having trials. And then He teaches us and helps us to grow through the trials that life throws at us.

This isn't to say that things never "happen for a reason" - of course they do. The Lord wants to guide us, and He will sometimes give us pushes in the right direction. But there's a fine line between a gentle nudge, and believing absolutely everything that happens is God trying to tell us something.

I am so grateful for the knowledge I have of a loving Heavenly Father, and am also extremely grateful that I am able to make my own decisions - that I have the wonderful gift of agency.

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As a side note, my wife said to me jokingly that I should pray about the wording of this post, to make sure I said things just right. :)

Jason

This afternoon I attended a memorial service for my cousin, Jason David Oliver. He died Friday, Aug. 20, at his home in Palo Alto, California.

Jason and I were never incredibly close. Living far away does that to you. But a few months ago, he Facebook-messaged me. We chatted for about an hour, and it was a great conversation. Partway through it, he told me that his girlfriend had just gotten back from Provo. I asked why, since most non-LDS people never have reason to come here. :) He told me her best friend was Mormon, and was attending BYU. He also informed that one of his good friends was also Mormon, and he'd attended church with him in past. Jason said his friend had never pressured him to come to church, or join, but that he (Jason) enjoyed going. He then proceeded to tell me that he couldn't understand why some people would say such negative things about Mormons and our church, and felt they were so intolerant to act like that.

This whole conversation was so out of the blue for me, but I loved it. I loved it because we connected on a deeper level than we ever had before. And today, I listened to people I'd never met tell stories about this man. They spoke about his smile, about how he liked to make people laugh, about his accomplishments.

One man got up to speak. He said he met Jason in college. He was a little older than the traditional college student, and probably felt like he didn't fit in with the rest of the students. But he said that Jason was the kind of person who made you feel welcome. He went up to that man and sat by him, talked with him, made him feel included. Afterwards, I thanked the man for his words. We talked briefly, and then he gave me a hug. I could tell he had a great deal of love for Jason.

But his words really made me think about the kind of person I want to be. I hope that when I die, people will say about me that I was the kind of person who made others feel comfortable and included.