The Holidays

When you get married, stuff starts to get expensive. You have increased grocery costs, housing costs, insurance costs, utilities costs, etc. For those of us who have been done with school for a while but our spouse isn't, we're now paying tuition again. And then when baby comes (sometime in the distant future), you have a whole new set of costs.

Then come the holidays - that wonderful time of year when it starts to get colder, the snow begins to fall, and we get to spend time with loved ones. But there must be opposition in all things - the holidays are expensive.

Now let me start off by saying that I am not a Scrooge. I love everything about Christmas, including giving and receiving gifts. But let's face it, Christmas is expensive. One of my favorite books is "Skipping Christmas" by John Grisham (I also like the movie adaptation, "Christmas With the Kranks"). The basic premise is that a husband and wife send their daughter off to work in the Peace Corps for a year, right after Thanksgiving, which means she'll miss Christmas at home. As the mother cries while going about her daily routine, the dad starts to crunch numbers. He then convinces his wife that if they were to skip all the Christmas stuff (the cards, the Christmas Eve party, the food, the tree, the decorations, the presents, etc.), they could go on a week-long cruise and actually SAVE money.

I mean, add up your own costs for the holidays. If you're traveling, you have the cost of air travel (or car/gas costs), as well as the opportunity cost of taking time off from work. You have to pay for decorations, food, Christmas cards, etc. And, of course, presents.

Although not required to be a good friend or relative, we generally expect at this time of year that we will show our love through the giving of gifts. It is a Christmas tradition. There's nothing inherently bad or wrong with it.

But...it's just so darn expensive! You can find good deals, but generally most people would say a nice gift costs around $15-20 (often more). Add that up for each member of your family, your spouse's family, close friends...it's pricey. So what do you do in this situation (especially in this economy)? Making gifts is very nice and can be a great alternative to a store-bought gift, but it takes up a lot of time. Most people hardly have enough time to even shop for gifts, let alone spend the time making something.

I have a couple ideas. The first is the idea of drawing names - many families do this. You can still show your love to your family in ways other than physical gifts, and this ensures that everyone still gets to participate in the Christmas gift-giving tradition. One side of my extended family regularly participates in a gift game. Everyone brings a wrapped gift, and everyone gets to open a present or steal an already unwrapped present, until all the presents are opened. In this case, the idea is not about giving/getting presents as much as having fun and spending time together as family. Or, as your family grows bigger, and you and your siblings begin having children of your own, you could do a "family gift" for each of the little families.

I think these are all good ideas to save money. I'm not going to try and say that I think we should do this because Christmas is too materialistic (although it is). I'll be honest - this is about saving money. :) However, I do think that gifts are far less important than spending time with family and experiencing joy in the Christmas season.

Let me tell you about the best idea of all, though. And this is something I am going to start as a tradition with my family. I had a professor in college share a story with us about a man who coached a hockey team. The hockey team wasn't very good - but to add to that, they didn't really look like a hockey team either - they didn't have uniforms or pads. That Christmastime, the coach went out and bought the team nice uniforms and all the gear they'd need. The team didn't get much better, but they felt better. :) What he then did was write down what he did, and put it in a white envelope and placed it on the tree, as a gift for his family. He said that it was a gift he gave in the name of his family.

My family has done similar things in the past - giving gifts anonymously to those in need, and I'm definitely going to make that a part of my family's Christmas traditions. And aside from whatever you decide to do within your own family, remember to save some money to give to those in need.

So despite the cost, I guess the reason for giving gifts truly does fit with the spirit of Christmas. It's about giving love and service, for that is what Christ did.