Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Soup


"Which soup should I buy, Lord?"
"Campbell's, my child."
"Thank you. Lord - should I take State St. or 800 East to the mall?"
"State Street."
"Thank you. Lord - who should I marry?"
"Her name is Vanessa Jones - you will meet her at a single adult activity in March 2012. She'll be wearing a yellow polka-dot dress with white flats."

Do these sound a little silly to anyone? I'm sure we've all heard the story about the person who was so spiritual, he even waited for divine confirmation over which soup he should buy. I've always heard it mentioned as an example of what to avoid, but I once heard it spoken of as an admirable trait.

Really? Do we really expect God to plan out every minute of every day of our lives for us? I'm going to say no. In fact, in almost every situation in daily life, I'd expect the Lord to answer us in this way: "I don't really care." (Well, He'd probably phrase it differently - something like: "It mattereth not unto me.")

The thing is, God gave you a brain - He expects you to use it. When He gives you direction, it isn't going to be over every little thing. For example, in the early days of the Church, the elders were sent out to preach the Gospel, and wanted to know what way they should go, and by what means. The Lord tells them, point blank, that it doesn't really matter to Him, so long as they are righteous and doing His work:

"Let there be a craft made, or bought, as seemeth you good, it mattereth not unto me..." D&C 60:5 ("Which soup should I buy?")
"Wherefore, go ye and preach my gospel, whether to the north or to the south, to the east or to the west, it mattereth not, for ye cannot go amiss." D&C 80:3 ("Which route should I take?")

Does that mean that God has no plans for us, or that He desires to play no part in our lives? Of course not. It just means He doesn't concern Himself with unimportant things. I've also heard people say things like, "But if it's important to you, it's important to God, no matter how small it is." To that I say, not necessarily. That's why God has said many times, "It mattereth not unto me." In other words, "It doesn't bear any real importance on the course of your life, so you decide whatever you want." The choice is up to you - that's why you have free will.

That's not to say we should never seek divine guidance. Prayer is there for a reason. There are some very important decisions that should definitely be prayed about (i.e. careers, choosing a spouse, etc.). But even in those situations, God will probably not tell us exactly what to do. We're here to figure that out for ourselves, and to do that we have to make the hard decisions.

For example, I never asked the Lord who I should marry. Instead, I found a girl who felt right to me. She was a good person, I enjoyed being in her company, I cared about her deeply, we had similar values, and I felt that there was no one else I'd rather be with for the rest of my existence (luckily the feeling was mutual). When we both knew that, we made our decision, then asked the Lord if it was a good one. And you know what? He said yes. You're both good people and you obviously love each other - if you keep it up and work hard, you'll be able to make it last. You have my blessing - don't mess it up. (That's more or less what He said, anyway.)


But I also know people who believe that everything that happens to them is the will of the Lord. If virtually anything happens to them, they think it must have "happened for a reason." Oh - do we also believe in fate, then? Do we believe our lives are predestined, and that God has
planned out every part of our time on this earth? Does nothing we choose really matter, since God will place us on the right path anyway? Is everything that happens to us divine providence?

Now I'm quite confident when I say this...no. I think people assume God intervenes in our lives MUCH more than He actually does. Why didn't I get that job? The Lord must not have wanted me to get it. Why can't we have a baby? The Lord must be preparing us for something else. Why am I still single? Because my wife, who the Lord has hand-picked for me, is still out there, and we won't meet until March 2012.

I've railed about this in other posts (primarily on Facebook), but things don't necessarily "happen for a reason." Usually...life just happens - that's what we're here for, after all. The Lord does not give us trials in the sense that He causes them. What He does do, however, is allow life to happen, which of necessity means having trials. And then He teaches us and helps us to grow through the trials that life throws at us.

This isn't to say that things never "happen for a reason" - of course they do. The Lord wants to guide us, and He will sometimes give us pushes in the right direction. But there's a fine line between a gentle nudge, and believing absolutely everything that happens is God trying to tell us something.

I am so grateful for the knowledge I have of a loving Heavenly Father, and am also extremely grateful that I am able to make my own decisions - that I have the wonderful gift of agency.

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As a side note, my wife said to me jokingly that I should pray about the wording of this post, to make sure I said things just right. :)

8 comments:

Stephanie Southerland said...

Very good post. While I agree with most of it, I do feel that the Lord's hand can be found in the small details of our lives. Not that I believe in fate, but maybe it's just about a person's perspective. For example: with my job search, I really do feel that the Lord has something better for me. Yes we do have agency, but when things happen that we can't control, is where (I believe) the Lord's hand can be found(this is where personal prayer and revelation really come into play for me). Yes, there are some strangie-o's that may take it to an extreme, but in little Stephanie's perspective, It brings me peace to feel my Savior's love through the small and simple things in life. Good post. Made me think and evaluate where I stand.

Skipper Aaron said...

I love things like this that make me think, good job! Now for my 2 cents.

I agree so much with the "it mattereth not" concept you bring up. There are so many things in life that are genuinely up to us, hence our agency. There are those who ask the Lord to plan their lives for them in a sense, when in most cases we need to be proactive and work and do, while asking for the Lord's opinion and approval along the way.

I do have a thought on the Lord's involvement in our lives, and I think that I'm essentially repeating what you said in different words. Stephanie and I have had many, many experiences when we have been prompted, sometimes very strongly, to do something or not do something. One such story was when we were dating. We were up Spanish Fork canyon one night, sitting in the back of my truck watching stars and talking, when we both suddenly felt the prompting that we needed to leave immediately. The urgency of that feeling grew stronger with every second that passed, so we (very quickly) jumped in the cab and drove away. I don't know what would have happened had we stayed, but the feeling I had was that some kind of serious danger was imminent and that we absolutely had to leave that very moment, or else we would be harmed. We will never forget that feeling. I know that was the Lord protecting us.

So was that life happening and the Lord stepped in? Or was it fate that we would have that experience and learn from it? Or was it fate that we should have met an untimely end, but we cheated death and changed our fate? It's a difficult question, and one that I'm not sure I'm ready to answer. God is omniscient, meaning he knows everything. Including the future? If what's going to happen is known, does that make it fate? There is a strange and fine line between God's omniscience and fate, and I'll be the first to admit that I don't fully comprehend it. Like Joseph said, "this is deep water," and I'm not up for a swim. Yet. Maybe someday.

Seriously, good job getting my brain all wound up like this! It's good for me!

Adam B said...

Thanks for the comments guys! And I think you're right, Tuba Czar - we're both basically saying the same thing. :) And I love the thought about the effect omniscience could play on "fate." I like writing these kinds of blogs, because it gets people thinking (and commenting). :)

Rich said...

Amen

Rich said...

I Might add that even though we may be prompted to take a certain path or not it does not change that we are still agents unto ourselves. I have had many promptings (some of the get out of here kind) and I do not feel that this is predestination at all. I could have chosen to stay and see what would happen (and admittedly I have once or twice done so...) this does not change that God cares enough about me to want me to be happy and he will , like any loving parent, provide council and warnings as he has a perfect view of the road ahead. ( He has been there after all )
There is my two bits.

Marianne said...

Adam, you should know that shortly after I read this blog the other day, a friend at work came in sobbing because she felt like the Lord wasn't giving her the direction she felt she needed in her life right now. I asked her what kinds of things she was seeking answers for, and she said things like getting 100% on her quizzes, or knowing if all the decisions she is making are the right ones.

I was SO grateful that I had your words on my mind just at that moment! I think she was pretty frustrated that the Lord wasn't guiding her every footstep. I don't think that the Lord does guide our every footstep, and that He uses "it matterth not" more often that some of us are comfortable with. It turned out to be a much better conversation than it would have been because of your blog!

So thank you for sharing. It was a blessing to me, and to her!

XOXOX

Adam B said...

Thanks Marianne - I'm glad my thoughts could help. :)

Kim Sigety said...

10 points Adam! Not only because I agree with every word you said, but also for HOW you said it. So direct and confident - love it. (Good thing your wife told you to pray for every word to be just right! haha)

And let's be honest: I started to comment about all that you said - but my comment kept growing and growing like crazy. So instead of posting a HUGE comment here - you've inspired my next PresentBliss blog post. Check it out soon :)

Thanks again for this post - definitely thought provoking and powerful in my book.