Beauty and Feminism

This started as a Facebook status, but I think it needed more. Being a new(ish) father of a daughter, I am becoming more and more aware of how the media shapes the "ideal" image of women. As a young man, I certainly saw a lot of advertising that showed off the muscular bodies of male celebrities. And more and more, you see buff, shirtless guys in movies (i.e. Thor, Captain America, Twilight, etc.), so there is certainly some external pressure on guys to look good, but nothing like there is on young women. (Not to mention, I don't think guys care as much - they think their bodies look good, even if they aren't.)

I don't want my daughter to define herself by how she looks. I want her to be healthy and take care of her appearance, of course. We should all try to look our best. But I don't want her to think that she needs to look a certain way to be considered beautiful or to feel she is of worth. I applaud groups like Beauty Redefined for seeking to share an appropriate view of body image.

But looking through some images, I found something that went in the wrong direction: specifically the Purple Paper Project at BeautyIsInside.com. At first, it sounded good - critique offensive ads with some snarky humor. And some of the images are spot on. But then I found some like this and this, that aren't talking about beauty at all, but just attack traditional gender roles.

I come from a home where my dad went to work, and my mom stayed at home with the kids. That was my parents' choice, and it worked for them. I am grateful I always had someone there when I got home from school. My wife and I have made the decision that she will stay at home with the kids, and I'll work outside the home to provide for my family.

So when did wanting to be a mother (and especially a SAHM) become a bad thing? I still can't believe this image. It says, "I used to have dreams. Now I just pretend that cooking and cleaning are all the fulfillment I need." Really? You don't find any fulfillment in being a mother? Because my fulfillment comes when my little girl smiles at me or lays her head on my shoulder. In that moment, I couldn't care less about any achievement at work. My coworker told me about an America's Next Top Model episode, where the girls were supposed to do a photo of what they had wanted to be when the grew up. One girl had wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, and they reamed her for it. Why are women's rights important, unless they want to stay at home with their kids? Because then they're either being oppressed, or should be mocked for it?

And again, is it evil for marketers to advertise their projects to the people who are most likely to buy them? I personally do a lot of cleaning in my house - I'm much more of a neat freak than Kristen is - I even get excited about cleaning supplies like the Swiffer, and my mom bought me a Shark steam mop for Christmas. Not for Kristen - for me - because I asked for it (I don't think Kristen's even used it). But that doesn't mean I'm offended by this ad because I don't relate to the woman shown in the picture. I don't demand that there must be a man pictured cleaning instead.

Bottom line: proper body image=good, attacking people because they identify with traditional gender roles=bad.