Follow-up to Soup

I've been thinking more, and I think I may have come off just a little too harsh in my last post. This isn't to say that I disagree with anything I said. I still think there are people who need to be woken up about their lives and the control they have in them. But there are probably also other people who don't find room for the hand of God.

Sometimes, things DO "happen for a reason." We know that sometimes, God prevents certain things from happening to us - He may protect us without us even knowing. But other times, He may deliberately choose to allow something to happen instead of preventing it. And depending on how we choose to act in relation to what happens, those events can put us on a completely different path than the one we were headed down. This of course doesn't take away our agency, though.

My friend Kim added to my thoughts on her blog, and said it much better than I did. I also loved the talks in General Conference this weekend about agency. There were no less than four. You'll be able to read them on lds.org by Thursday.

General Conference - Agency

In General Conference, none of the speakers is given a topic upon which to speak. They instead seek revelation from God to know what to say. To me, the most interesting thing about General Conference is that there still seems to be a common thread across the several talks, despite having no man-made, pre-planned theme.

By the second talk in the Sunday Morning Session, we'd already heard three talks on listening to and following what the prophets and apostles tell us, and three talks about agency. Since the arguments about Prop 8, I have seen many LDS friends talk (usually on Facebook) about how they support same-sex marriage, and disagree with the Church on what they have taught about it. I don't know if they believe that at some point, the Church will change their position and say that same-sex marriage is now morally okay. But if so, I think this weekend dispelled that belief. President Boyd K. Packer didn't speak about it specifically, but I think it was clear - he said that even if you put morality to a vote, it won't change anything in the eyes of God.

Pres. Packer also spoke extensively on our own agency. The arguments for any kind of wickedness rely heavily on the idea that there is no agency - we are all victims of circumstance, and should not be expected to act against our basic instincts. We were born this way, and we can't help it.

Many think we have limited or no ability to control our own actions, nor should we have to. But isn't that the purpose of our civilization? Of our laws? Trying to show that we're better than the animals? That we CAN choose? That we have agency? That we can actually have humanity?

Those who believe there is no agency have been lied to:

"And behold, others he flattereth away, and telleth them there is no hell; and he saith unto them: I am no devil, for there is none - and thus he whispereth in their ears, until he grasps them with his awful chains, from whence there is no deliverance." 2 Ne. 28:22

I declare with the prophets that there IS a God. He loves us and wants us to return home to Him. He has blessed us with agency, and we are free to choose whatever path we will.

"Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself." -2 Ne. 2:27

Insanity

I'm doing it again.

Check out this blog for more info.

Soup

"Which soup should I buy, Lord?"

"Campbell's, my child."
"Thank you. Lord - should I take State St. or 800 East to the mall?"

"State Street."

"Thank you. Lord - who should I marry?"

"Her name is Vanessa Jones - you will meet her at a single adult activity in March 2012. She'll be wearing a yellow polka-dot dress with white flats."

Do these sound a little silly to anyone? I'm sure we've all heard the story about the person who was so spiritual, he even waited for divine confirmation over which soup he should buy. I've always heard it mentioned as an example of what to avoid, but I once heard it spoken of as an admirable trait.

Really? Do we really expect God to plan out every minute of every day of our lives for us? I'm going to say no. In fact, in almost every situation in daily life, I'd expect the Lord to answer us in this way: "I don't really care." (Well, He'd probably phrase it differently - something like: "It mattereth not unto me.")

The thing is, God gave you a brain - He expects you to use it. When He gives you direction, it isn't going to be over every little thing. For example, in the early days of the Church, the elders were sent out to preach the Gospel, and wanted to know what way they should go, and by what means. The Lord tells them, point blank, that it doesn't really matter to Him, so long as they are righteous and doing His work:

"Let there be a craft made, or bought, as seemeth you good, it mattereth not unto me..." D&C 60:5 ("Which soup should I buy?")

"Wherefore, go ye and preach my gospel, whether to the north or to the south, to the east or to the west, it mattereth not, for ye cannot go amiss." D&C 80:3 ("Which route should I take?")

Does that mean that God has no plans for us, or that He desires to play no part in our lives? Of course not. It just means He doesn't concern Himself with unimportant things. I've also heard people say things like, "But if it's important to you, it's important to God, no matter how small it is." To that I say, not necessarily. That's why God has said many times, "It mattereth not unto me." In other words, "It doesn't bear any real importance on the course of your life, so you decide whatever you want." The choice is up to you - that's why you have free will.

That's not to say we should never seek divine guidance. Prayer is there for a reason. There are some very important decisions that should definitely be prayed about (i.e. careers, choosing a spouse, etc.). But even in those situations, God will probably not tell us exactly what to do. We're here to figure that out for ourselves, and to do that we have to make the hard decisions.

For example, I never asked the Lord who I should marry. Instead, I found a girl who felt right to me. She was a good person, I enjoyed being in her company, I cared about her deeply, we had similar values, and I felt that there was no one else I'd rather be with for the rest of my existence (luckily the feeling was mutual). When we both knew that, we made our decision, then asked the Lord if it was a good one. And you know what? He said yes. You're both good people and you obviously love each other - if you keep it up and work hard, you'll be able to make it last. You have my blessing - don't mess it up. (That's more or less what He said, anyway.)

But I also know people who believe that everything that happens to them is the will of the Lord. If virtually anything happens to them, they think it must have "happened for a reason." Oh - do we also believe in fate, then? Do we believe our lives are predestined, and that God has

planned out every part of our time on this earth? Does nothing we choose really matter, since God will place us on the right path anyway? Is everything that happens to us divine providence?

Now I'm quite confident when I say this...no. I think people assume God intervenes in our lives MUCH more than He actually does. Why didn't I get that job? The Lord must not have wanted me to get it. Why can't we have a baby? The Lord must be preparing us for something else. Why am I still single? Because my wife, who the Lord has hand-picked for me, is still out there, and we won't meet until March 2012.

I've railed about this in other posts (primarily on Facebook), but things don't necessarily "happen for a reason." Usually...life just happens - that's what we're here for, after all. The Lord does not give us trials in the sense that He causes them. What He does do, however, is allow life to happen, which of necessity means having trials. And then He teaches us and helps us to grow through the trials that life throws at us.

This isn't to say that things never "happen for a reason" - of course they do. The Lord wants to guide us, and He will sometimes give us pushes in the right direction. But there's a fine line between a gentle nudge, and believing absolutely everything that happens is God trying to tell us something.

I am so grateful for the knowledge I have of a loving Heavenly Father, and am also extremely grateful that I am able to make my own decisions - that I have the wonderful gift of agency.

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As a side note, my wife said to me jokingly that I should pray about the wording of this post, to make sure I said things just right. :)

Jason

This afternoon I attended a memorial service for my cousin, Jason David Oliver. He died Friday, Aug. 20, at his home in Palo Alto, California.

Jason and I were never incredibly close. Living far away does that to you. But a few months ago, he Facebook-messaged me. We chatted for about an hour, and it was a great conversation. Partway through it, he told me that his girlfriend had just gotten back from Provo. I asked why, since most non-LDS people never have reason to come here. :) He told me her best friend was Mormon, and was attending BYU. He also informed that one of his good friends was also Mormon, and he'd attended church with him in past. Jason said his friend had never pressured him to come to church, or join, but that he (Jason) enjoyed going. He then proceeded to tell me that he couldn't understand why some people would say such negative things about Mormons and our church, and felt they were so intolerant to act like that.

This whole conversation was so out of the blue for me, but I loved it. I loved it because we connected on a deeper level than we ever had before. And today, I listened to people I'd never met tell stories about this man. They spoke about his smile, about how he liked to make people laugh, about his accomplishments.

One man got up to speak. He said he met Jason in college. He was a little older than the traditional college student, and probably felt like he didn't fit in with the rest of the students. But he said that Jason was the kind of person who made you feel welcome. He went up to that man and sat by him, talked with him, made him feel included. Afterwards, I thanked the man for his words. We talked briefly, and then he gave me a hug. I could tell he had a great deal of love for Jason.

But his words really made me think about the kind of person I want to be. I hope that when I die, people will say about me that I was the kind of person who made others feel comfortable and included.

Odyssey

In a scene from a film adaptation of The Odyssey, Odysseus is at the brink of death in a storm. He yells at Poseidon, who is creating the storm. "What do you want me to learn?!"

Poseidon responds: "That without the gods, man is nothing!"

When Moses was called as a prophet, the Lord showed him all of creation. It must have been such an incredible experience. When the Lord was done, and Moses was left to his own strength, he fell down on the earth and couldn't get up for several hours. When he was finally able to stand, he said this: "Now, for this cause I know that man is nothing, which thing I never had supposed."

Sometimes life can be difficult. This is not to say that God causes the difficult things that happens in our lives. But he may allow them so that we will turn to Him. When the difficult times come to us in life, we can be like Moses and remember our strong foundation. When Satan tempted him and called him a son of man, telling him to worship the son of Perdition, he said, "Who art thou? For I am a son of God."

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Remember the words of your God; pray unto him continually by day, and give thanks unto his holy name by night. Let your hearts rejoice.

Sacrament Meeting

For those of you who are not of my faith, let me first explain a few things before I get into the main body of my message.

In our church, every Sunday we partake of what we call the sacrament (what other churches often call "the sacrament of the Lord's Supper"). It may surprise many that we have young men of 12-17 who typically bless and pass the sacrament. But we confer the authority to officiate in this ordinance to all worthy young men of that age. Those who bless the sacrament are 16 and older, and are ordained priests in the church. Those who are 12-13 are ordained deacons, and their primary responsibility is to pass the sacrament. They take this responsibilty seriously, and it is a wonderful sight to see them in their white shirts and ties, reverently administering the sacrament to the members of the church.

But I love watching these young men as they pass the sacrament. Because they take their calling so seriously, and are trying so hard to make sure it is a solemn and reverent experience for everyone there, sometimes it's a little humorous to watch.

Standard Sunday dress for men in our church is formal business attire: suits or slacks with white shirts and ties. When you're 12 and 13 years old, though, some of us are a bit smaller than others. That means that your tie width where it wraps around your neck can be just about the same width as your size 14 shirt collar. This often results in what we call the "deacon tie," where your tie sticks out from underneath your collar. One thing that makes me smile in our ward is a young man who has avoided this issue entirely by wearing bow ties. It's awesome.

I also like to watch the little rituals/customs that work their way into how the young men in each ward do things. I've moved around a lot and been in multiple wards, and everyone does it a little differently. I was in one ward where every young man would carry a sacrament tray in his right hand and place the back of his left hand on the small of his back, and walk throughout the chapel in that way. I can't lie - it looked kinda funny. :)

But my favorite part by far is the lining up at the end. When everyone has received the sacrament, the deacons line up at the back of both sides of the chapel (at least, this is how it is done in our current ward). When they are ready, the priests at the front of the chapel stand up, signaling to the deacons to come forward. Before this happens, though, there is always a lot of shuffling around, with one deacon (probably the bossy, know-it-all one like I was) pointing and whispering to the people in the wrong positions to go where they're supposed to be. That never ceases to bring a smile to my face. Mostly because it's not very important what order they're in. But to the young men, it is.

But despite the humor that abounds, the young men do a spectacular job of blessing and passing the sacrament.