Privacy

I haven't written much this last year. Sure, I've been busy - a pregnant wife, a few plays, work, getting ready to apply to grad school - but it also has to do with the issue of privacy. I'm not a super-private person, as any regular reader of this blog knows. I've shared a lot of my personal thoughts and feelings with the world over the years, though this blog.

But I've been debating how much I should share. In our modern world, you can use the internet to find just about anything, or anyone. Just think about how many times you've Facebook or blog-stalked someone:

I have a child now - I want to do everything I can to protect her. Not to be overly paranoid, but there are bad people out there. So I'm trying to come to some kind of a balance with still wanting to share, but trying to keep private things private. I don't want to take my blog "private" - I like being able to view peoples' blogs in Google Reader - there are about four private blogs I follow, and I have to have separate links for them. For an organized person like me, that's kind of annoying. I only put up with it if I really like you. :) So the idea is to strike a balance with not sharing too much personal information, but sharing just enough. If I know you, and you want more information, feel free to email me and ask. I know people always say that, and no one ever emails - but seriously, email me and ask.

As I said, our baby girl was born recently. Her name is Scarlett Marie, and she is adorable. We love everything about her - even when she's driving us crazy. We're getting the hang of being parents, slowly but surely - she is the best part of our lives.

I've been a journal keeper for a long time, until the last couple years (since I've been married, essentially). I feel bad I haven't written about my life, thoughts, feelings, etc., especially now that I have a kid, but maybe I just need a fresh start. I can take blog postings, Christmas letters, Facebook statuses (stati?), and use them to fill in the gaps for the last little while. And then I want to do something like this:

I know this was made as an ad for Google Chrome, but I love it.

Letter to My Girl

Dear baby girl,

I feel kinda silly right now. I’m sitting at work, and trying to find a song that conveys my feelings about you. And I’m crying. That’s right – I’m crying, because as I listen to these songs, I know that someday you’re going to grow up and leave, and it breaks my heart. I haven’t even met you yet, and I’m already sad to see you go.

I don’t want to give you away to some young punk. I don’t want you to grow up and move away, to not need me anymore. You’re my little girl, and I love you more than you know. I am beginning to understand the love parents have for their children. I can’t wait to meet you, baby girl.

Love,
Daddy

Primary

The last year and a half, I’ve served in Primary of the Heatheridge 6th Ward. I’d been a substitute teacher before, but this was my first church calling serving with the children at church. I was called as the Primary pianist – technically as one of the pianists, since there seem to be fewer callings to go around in Utah wards. Too many active members of the Church – not a bad problem to have. I loved playing the piano – it was in my comfort zone, and I got to listen to all the funny things the kids say in Primary.

Well, last summer, our wonderful Primary chorister up and moved on us. We were very sad to see her go – she was so much fun, and I loved serving with her. But guess who they called as the new Primary music leaders? Kristen and me!

At first we were super-nervous about it. I’ve never directed music before, and for some reason, little kids seem imposing. Maybe it’s because you have to work to keep their attention. As Rebekah (our predecessor) told us, you always need to have some sort of a “gimmick” to keep them engaged. A game, or props, or pictures, or all three. Something.

But as we’ve had the privilege to teach music to these wonderful children for the last year, to see some of them graduate Primary and go on to young men’s and young women’s, it’s not so scary. And we’ve learned that they’ve really been teaching us all along. I think I’ve become a more humble person, a more soft-spoken person (although at the same time, you DO have to speak up sometimes in Primary), a more kind person, simply by being around these awesome kids.

And I say they’re awesome – sometimes a couple of them are punks, it’s true. But if you threaten them with coming up front to sing a solo…and then actually follow through with it…they learn that you mean business. And they also learn that singing can be fun. And you still love them and think they’re great. The best I’ve ever felt about a calling was when I heard that a little girl in Primary told her mom she wished they would do singing time for all of Primary – that it was never long enough.

I think I’ve always secretly been an “aspirer.” I never sought after it, but I always kinda wanted to have that teaching position, or that leadership position. It makes you feel good when you know the Lord has that kind of confidence in you. And I like to teach – it’s enjoyable, definitely. But nothing compares to being in the Primary. I now know why this is my mom’s favorite calling, and I thank my Heavenly Father for the blessing of teaching music to his sweet children.

Here are some of our favorite moments/quotes from Primary:

Leader: “What’s General Conference?”
Kid: “He was a soldier.”

Leader: “Does the Holy Ghost have a body?”
Kids: “No!”
Bela: “He only has a head!”

Leader: “Who’s the third member of the Godhead? There’s Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, and…?”
Abby: “Nephi?”

Leader: “What’s so special about your family?”
Bela: “My mommy and daddy sleep together.”

Caitlin: “I testify that the prophets are like the living God, but not, because they’re different…”

Leader (showing pictures of people and asking how we can serve them): “What can you do to help a blind person?”
Sarah: “You can say, ‘Don’t go over there! That’s a nitro glycerin plant!’”

Atheists on Facebook

I know many people who are either atheist or agnostic. As many of my associations are among Latter-day Saints, many of these people are former Mormons. But these people don't just disbelieve in God - they are anti-theist. They attack religion and those with a belief in God. Consistently, their Facebook pages are filled with posts deriding theists. I don't understand these people. I don't see the same anger and hatred for other religions (or lack thereof) on the pages of any of my religious friends. In fact, I don't even see that on the pages of my atheist/agnostic friends who aren't Mormons. So why the attacks? Why do you spend your life trying to bring down a religion you left and said you wanted nothing to do with?

Lately

Lately I feel that I have been a blogging failure. I constantly think of things I want to share, but I don't write them, because I want to have time to share my thoughts fully and coherently. Strange, I know - at least in this Twitter-obsessed world. I even understand the reason behind Twitter feeds - it would be nice to be able to write just a brief message to get my thoughts out there. But it's lazy (lazier than going a month between posts?). And I also feel a certain satisfaction when I complete a full blog post, rather than when I change my Facebook status.

Anyway, life has been rather hectic lately. I'm currently rehearsing for Singin' in the Rain at the Scera Shell in Orem. We open on Friday, and as you can imagine, that takes up a lot of my evenings. Especially the past two weeks. I'm there from 6 to 11:15 each night. Add on top of that work - I work from 8-5 every day (and then some - working from my phone til all hours of the night), and my boss' wife just had their first baby. Awesome for them - but that means that we have to cover all his stuff while he's out, which means work is even busier than before, and I have to do more from home/my phone than usual. My poor, sweet wife.

School just got out last week, so Kristen is at home now. She's been keeping busy going walking with her mom in the mornings, reading, prepping for the baby, and cooking/cleaning. She's had dinner ready right when I get home the last two nights. And I imagine it will continue all this week, what with my crazy schedule for the show. Now I'm not one to say it's the woman's job to be in the kitchen - we usually trade off cooking and/or cook dinner together. But it's been so nice to come home to dinner "on the table" (we don't technically have a dining table). My wife is the best ever. :)

Monday night was great - I came home, we ate dinner, then sat on the couch for a little bit. I laid my head down on Kristen's stomach, and kind of tapped on her belly with my finger. Kristen is 26 weeks pregnant, but we found out her placenta is in the front (anterior), so neither she nor I have been able to feel the baby move. So every so often we tell our little girl to "Move! Move! Move!" And then I felt something. I asked Kristen, "What was that?" thinking it could just be her stomach rumbling, as usual. She said, "I don't know." I tapped some more, and got another little bump. We tried a few more times, but that was it, so we weren't sure if it was our baby or not.

Then last night, we felt her kick (or punch - who knows) again. It was one of the most amazing things ever, and I'm so happy we finally got to feel our little angel move. It makes it all the more real...and scary. :)

Guess What??

Kristen is pregnant! We found out last Saturday morning. Obviously this post will be a bit delayed, because we’re doing the whole wait until you’re past the first trimester thing, to be safe. And she told me that she was going to be the first to tell everyone in the blogosphere, so you also already knew this. But hey, there we are. Kristen’s pregnant. :)

Anyway, I wanted to document this pregnancy, as it’s the first in our little family. I’ll try to keep it interesting/fun to read. Here’s hoping, anyway.

Kristen has always been someone who has food cravings – mostly ice cream and onion rings. So we would always joke that she would have the craziest food cravings when she was pregnant. And even though she’s only 1 month pregnant, the cravings have already started. But they’re not for weird foods - they’re just for food. She told me the other day that she can’t even drive home from work on State Street, because there are so many restaurants on that street. She wants everything.

She’s also hungry ALL the time. We’ve considered banning her from being able to go grocery shopping, because everything looks good. Which leads to the first rule of pregnancy for the husband: never say anything sarcastic about the fact that your wife is hungry all the time.

And of course there are the mood swings – I try not to say anything that could be construed as negative or sarcastic, because even though Kristen knows that it’s the hormones, it doesn’t mean she can control them. She’s very nice about it, though – even if she gets mad at me, she tries not to say anything, because she knows it’s usually something silly. Which leads to the second rule of pregnancy for the husband: don’t admit that you even notice the mood swings (even though you do). For example, if your wife is a little moody because she’s hungry (see pregnancy rule #1), get her something to eat. But when she says something about how she’s glad she ate something, because she was getting cranky, say (not sarcastically) that you didn’t even notice.

Here are a couple vignettes from the last couple months.

Text on January 5 (right before we found out Kristen was pregnant)
“I’m not a mean person am I? I just worry I’m too strict and mean with the kids. I’m worried I’m going to be a nazi mom.”
“I’m craving Taco Bell sooooo much. Yum”

Text from January 13
“P.S. We have no kettle corn. :(“
“I’m already sick of feeling fat and tired all the time. This baby better hurry up and grow.”

I came home one day, and the apartment was extremely hot. I checked thermostat and it said 90 degrees! Where was Kristen? At her art desk, wrapped in a blanket, painting. With the blanket she was “just right.”

She’s also tired ALL THE TIME. One night we were making dinner and she laid down on the couch, and was out for an hour. I finished making dinner and did the dishes (and it’s not like I was quiet about it). She got up when dinner was about ready, and asked if she had been asleep long, and was shocked that everything was already done. Which leads me to pregnancy rule #3: Do nice things for your wife, because you love her…it also helps counter some of the mood swings.

More to come later...

Plagiarism

On our trip back from Seattle, surrounded by a bus-full of teenagers, I needed a little respite from the noise that accompanies said teenagers. As I was browsing the Facebook news feed, I came across a note written by a friend that looked interesting. It was about a movie I happen to enjoy quite a bit - in fact, it was the movie my wife and I watched at my apartment on our first real date. Naturally I opened up the note and began reading. But as I read the words she said she'd written almost a year ago on her blog, they seemed strangely familiar. No, not just familiar - they seemed like almost the exact same words I used when writing a blog about this same movie nearly two and a half years ago.

I quickly went to her Facebook page and searched for her blog information. Upon navigating to her blog, I opened my own entry in another window, and compared the two. The words were virtually identical. And what was worse - no mention of my name or my blog anywhere. In fact, she changed a couple things to make it seem as if the words came from her.

I'll admit that by this time, I was a little incensed, but I tried to remain calm. I commented on both her Facebook note and her blog post: "{Name], not to be rude, but I don't appreciate seeing something I wrote being presented as someone else's. Please give credit where it is due, because you essentially copied my blog post from Aug. 6, 2008: http://adamloveskristen.blogspot.com/2008/08/little-manhattan.html"

I received a Facebook message fairly quickly:

"I did not read your blog to begin with, and if I were to copy something I would have referred to your blog, seriously. Sorry, if it looks like yours or whatever. I am not even going into it. You can get offended all you can, I did not copy anything from your blog, otherwise I would have quoted you."

I responded:

"You quoted almost exactly from my blog, with a couple added sentences. I cannot believe you'd blatantly lie like this. I don't care if you quote me. Just admit you're quoting me."

Her reply:

"Well, it is up to you either you believe it or not, I would have referred to your blog if I would have taken it from there. But I am sorry, I did not. I am not one of those people that try to steal someone else's words and put them as their own. You should knot [sic] me better than that."

I thought I did know her better than that - I was her zone leader on the mission, for heaven's sake. By this point, I was quite upset, but I resolved to wait until I could get to a computer the next day. I pulled together a document detailing the blatant plagiarism of my blog and emailed it to her, asking her to either acknowledge she got her material from me, or to take it down.

In two more emails, she again denied copying me, although she did take down the blog and the note, in order to "avoid this drama with [me]." But I ask you, my dear readers, to read the document I sent her HERE and tell me if you think that perhaps she wrote the words she adamantly says she did. Is it perhaps a coincidence, and I'm blowing things out of proportion? In the document, the words that were paraphrased are underlined, the words that are identical are in yellow highlight, and the words that are identical down to the formatting (e.g. parentheses and italics) are in blue highlight.

P.S. Not to sound petty, but English is also not this person's first language, and if someone were to read her other posts, I would think the reader would wonder why the grammar and general writing style of this particular blog were so different from other posts. Just a thought.

My first blog ever...what to write?

Well kiddos, here I am. I have finally made my way into the great blogosphere. I've been meaning to write a blog for quite some time, but I kept putting it off thinking I had nothing to say that people would enjoy reading. After thinking long and hard (and yes, I spent more time thinking about what to write on a blog than I did studying for my last test), I finally narrowed down my options for my first blog to four.

1-Stories from Work

I have a job at an elementary school. I interact with grades K-6, though I work mostly with Kindergarten and first graders. You would not believe some of the stories and quotes and other hilarious things that happen when you are around children all day, every day. But I'll write more about this one later. I decided it wasn't quite awesome enough for my first blog ever.

2-My Weird Health Issues

I'm fond of saying that if I had been born in the old days they would have taken me out with the horse with the broken leg and shot me. Considering I'm only 22 you would think I would be in prime health. But no. I've had severe migraines since I was 7, I have a brain malformation called Chiari, I have jaw-wink, I've had lots of cuts, bruises, and stitches. I've had surgery, a couple MRI's, etc. etc. You get the idea. But I'll also write more about this one later. I decided it was a little too intense/gross for my first blog.

3-My Art

I am an artist. I love to paint and draw and create things. My dad is a very talented artist (he rocks at graphic design), and I think he's relieved that at least one of his children inherited his artistic talent and chose to pursue it. I have been painting/drawing ever since I was a kid. I'm currently working on some goals of getting prints made of my art, getting them in some galleries, and setting up a web site (just tooting my own horn a little bit here - my talent for art is one of the few things I'm really proud of). But once again, I'll write more about this one later. It almost won for being the subject of my first blog, but something else beats it.

4-I'm Pregnant

:)

WWJD?

I don't think we usually consider what Jesus is like as a person. If He showed up at your house to spend time with you, what do you think He would do? I think He would probably spend time with you doing the things you like to do. Maybe He'd even wash the dishes.

Kristen and I are currently rehearsing a comedic play called WWJD that explores exactly that premise. I highly recommend you all come see it. Performances are March 24, 25, 26, 28 (then skipping General Conference weekend) and April 8, 9, 10 at the Provo Theater Company on 105 E. 100 North in Provo. Tickets are $8 ($6 students – and if you come in a group of 5 or more, tickets are only $5 each). Okay, now that you know the what and where, let me pitch you on why you should come.

WWJD asks the question – what would Jesus do if He showed up at your house one day? Well, first off – he’d do the dishes your roommate has been putting off for forever. Then he’d skateboard with you, go miniature golfing with you, etc. The twist comes in the fact that one roommate (my character), who also happens to be the only religious person in the apartment, can’t see or hear Jesus, and thinks it’s all a big practical joke on him (at least, he does at first).

Seeing things through the eyes of my character, it’s helped me think more about what it means to have faith - is seeing believing? Or is believing seeing? At one point, my character is asked if it really matters that he can’t see Jesus. “Of course it matters! I’ve studied about Him my whole life…and now He’s here, and I can’t even see Him. What’s wrong with me?” Jesus then asks who sinned – you or your parents that caused you to be blind. “I’m not the wicked one, and my parents are just fine.” If you know that, then it’s not important to see.

Like all good plays, this one will make you laugh, it might make you cry, and it will definitely make you think. Please note that our interpretation of Jesus is respectful, but not conventional. For example, He will ride a skateboard, wash dishes, and lead a line dance. If you don’t think you can handle that, I understand. But for everyone else, you should definitely come.

Reading

My wife LOVES to read. I like to read too, and though I can’t hold a candle to the speed with which Kristen plows through just about any novel, I still enjoy sitting down with a good book. I recently finished the last of the Ender’s Game books. I only recently discovered them, but they are very well written, and I couldn’t put them down.

But the majority of my reading nowadays is online. I read news stories, opinion pieces, Facebook status messages, and blogs. Let me tell you – I LOVE reading blogs. I use Google Reader, and have collected more than 50 blogs in my subscription list (and I keep up on them)! Of course, there are some blogs from people I don’t know (Mel’s Kitchen Cafe, Mormanity, (Gay) Mormon Guy, etc.), but most are from friends. One of them is likely your blog, dear reader. So please update!

I’ve talked about the “mommy blog” and the “travel blog” before, and my feelings are still the same. I don’t enjoy reading the majority of those blogs, unless I have a vested interest in them (i.e. to read about my adorable nieces). So I don’t – no harm, no foul. They still have their readership, I’m sure, even without me. And for a while, I debated cleansing my blog roll of friends’ blogs that I found incredibly boring, and usually never read anyway. It was worse than the conflict I often feel when debating whether to remove a Facebook “friend.” But in the end, my practical male thinking won, and I deleted the boring blogs. Now, I can’t even remember who I removed – don’t worry, I’m sure it wasn’t you…

Anyway, there is another class of blogs that I still read, but only with some difficulty. These are the blogs that are very interesting, but whose grammar and spelling mistakes often make them hard to read. I don’t mean those that occasionally have the word “your” when they should be “you’re” (although that does bug me), or those that miss a comma once in a while. I can usually ignore most grammar mistakes and just enjoy the story.

But when words are consistently misspelled, there are agreement errors up the wazoo, the laws of sentence structure are all but ignored, and the text phrase “LOL” is used as a period, I have a hard time. Reading some of these blogs, I can see how if I was talking with the authors face-to-face, I would believe they were intelligent people. Their arguments are well thought-out and they’re passionate about what they’re saying. But they just don’t seem to understand English grammar, and it affects my enjoyment of their blogs.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m all about breaking grammar rules…as long as you know them, and it’s only once in a while. And I hope I haven’t made you paranoid about your blog. Heck, I’m just one reader among many. But if you’re interested in some well-written and interesting blogs, try here or here or here.

I've Done Things

When I think about it, I’ve done some cool things in my life. I’ve been to New York, Paris, and London, lived in another country, and studied abroad (so technically I’ve lived in two other countries). I’ve seen both the Pacific and Atlantic Oceans. I’ve been to theme parks and ridden roller coasters. I’ve met people from dozens of countries, spoken to people in more than one language, and eaten cuisine from all over the world. I’ve been a waiter, a courier, a clothing salesman, and a paperboy. I’ve driven a forklift and a big box truck, made take and bake pizzas, and stocked food for a buffet. I’ve bought my own car (without a co-signer), purchased a piano (electric – not a baby grand yet), and rented my own apartment. I’ve built a frame and stretched a canvas on it, painted my living room, redid my back patio, and put in a surround sound system. I’ve barbecued on a charcoal grill (trust me, that’s a big one for me), baked a cheesecake, and made roses out of jelly candy. And I earned a college degree, found a salaried, full-time job, and married the love of my life.

Sometimes life may not seem too spectacular. But it is. Life is wonderful, and I’m happy to be living it.