Top 10 of 2010

Merry Christmas everyone! Here is a link to our Christmas Letter for 2010. Hope you enjoy - we had a great year. :) This made some of the pictures a little grainy, so if you want a full copy that looks a little better, let me know, and I'll email it to you.

Love,

Adam and Kristen

Operation Gratitude: Flying Free

The late Sister Marjorie Hinckley (Pres. Gordon B. Hinckley's wife) once said this about Pres. Hinckley:

"He always let me do my own thing. He never insisted that I do anything his way, or any way, for that matter. From the very beginning he gave me space and let me fly. He never tells me what to do. He just lets me go. He has made me feel like a real person. He has encouraged me to do whatever makes me happy. He doesn't try to rule or dominate me."

I am grateful for a wife who does that for me - who gives me space and lets me fly. Who encourages me to do my best, but doesn't insist I do things her way, even if she'd prefer it. Who doesn't force me to get a hair cut because she thinks it's getting too long, and who doesn't mind when I grow a beard (some women mind, you know). :) I'm grateful she would never withhold affection or intimacy from me if I didn't conform to exactly what she wanted, and that she doesn't try to rule or dominate me.

And by the same token, I would never do that to her. I would never tell her to have a certain body type or hairstyle, or to act or be a certain way. I'm grateful that we love and trust each other, and that we encourage each other to be the very best we can be.

Operation Gratitude: Christmas Carol

Kristen and I are currently rehearsing for A Christmas Carol at the Hale Center Theater Orem, and it's a lot of fun. It's definitely a different experience than I've had at other theaters. Some things are better, some are not as good, but on the whole it's a great experience.

I am Fred, Scrooge's nephew, who is a very happy and jovial character. I love playing him, because I get to laugh and smile a lot, and can laugh at things that are funny (very useful when someone messes up, or tries to make you laugh on purpose). :)

Anyway, I am very grateful for this opportunity - to share the Christmas spirit with everyone who comes to see the show on Tuesday, Thursday, or Saturday during the month of December. :) Come see me perform!

Operation Gratitude: Copying Jamie

My friend's wife started this last year, and I sorta copied her. So I figured I would copy her again this year (down to the post names). Hope you're ok with that Jamie! So stay tuned for future posts this wonderful month of Thanksgiving!

Follow-up to Soup

I've been thinking more, and I think I may have come off just a little too harsh in my last post. This isn't to say that I disagree with anything I said. I still think there are people who need to be woken up about their lives and the control they have in them. But there are probably also other people who don't find room for the hand of God.

Sometimes, things DO "happen for a reason." We know that sometimes, God prevents certain things from happening to us - He may protect us without us even knowing. But other times, He may deliberately choose to allow something to happen instead of preventing it. And depending on how we choose to act in relation to what happens, those events can put us on a completely different path than the one we were headed down. This of course doesn't take away our agency, though.

My friend Kim added to my thoughts on her blog, and said it much better than I did. I also loved the talks in General Conference this weekend about agency. There were no less than four. You'll be able to read them on lds.org by Thursday.

General Conference - Agency

In General Conference, none of the speakers is given a topic upon which to speak. They instead seek revelation from God to know what to say. To me, the most interesting thing about General Conference is that there still seems to be a common thread across the several talks, despite having no man-made, pre-planned theme.

By the second talk in the Sunday Morning Session, we'd already heard three talks on listening to and following what the prophets and apostles tell us, and three talks about agency. Since the arguments about Prop 8, I have seen many LDS friends talk (usually on Facebook) about how they support same-sex marriage, and disagree with the Church on what they have taught about it. I don't know if they believe that at some point, the Church will change their position and say that same-sex marriage is now morally okay. But if so, I think this weekend dispelled that belief. President Boyd K. Packer didn't speak about it specifically, but I think it was clear - he said that even if you put morality to a vote, it won't change anything in the eyes of God.

Pres. Packer also spoke extensively on our own agency. The arguments for any kind of wickedness rely heavily on the idea that there is no agency - we are all victims of circumstance, and should not be expected to act against our basic instincts. We were born this way, and we can't help it.

Many think we have limited or no ability to control our own actions, nor should we have to. But isn't that the purpose of our civilization? Of our laws? Trying to show that we're better than the animals? That we CAN choose? That we have agency? That we can actually have humanity?

Those who believe there is no agency have been lied to:

"And behold, others he flattereth away, and telleth them there is no hell; and he saith unto them: I am no devil, for there is none - and thus he whispereth in their ears, until he grasps them with his awful chains, from whence there is no deliverance." 2 Ne. 28:22

I declare with the prophets that there IS a God. He loves us and wants us to return home to Him. He has blessed us with agency, and we are free to choose whatever path we will.

"Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself." -2 Ne. 2:27

Insanity

I'm doing it again.

Check out this blog for more info.

Soup

"Which soup should I buy, Lord?"

"Campbell's, my child."
"Thank you. Lord - should I take State St. or 800 East to the mall?"

"State Street."

"Thank you. Lord - who should I marry?"

"Her name is Vanessa Jones - you will meet her at a single adult activity in March 2012. She'll be wearing a yellow polka-dot dress with white flats."

Do these sound a little silly to anyone? I'm sure we've all heard the story about the person who was so spiritual, he even waited for divine confirmation over which soup he should buy. I've always heard it mentioned as an example of what to avoid, but I once heard it spoken of as an admirable trait.

Really? Do we really expect God to plan out every minute of every day of our lives for us? I'm going to say no. In fact, in almost every situation in daily life, I'd expect the Lord to answer us in this way: "I don't really care." (Well, He'd probably phrase it differently - something like: "It mattereth not unto me.")

The thing is, God gave you a brain - He expects you to use it. When He gives you direction, it isn't going to be over every little thing. For example, in the early days of the Church, the elders were sent out to preach the Gospel, and wanted to know what way they should go, and by what means. The Lord tells them, point blank, that it doesn't really matter to Him, so long as they are righteous and doing His work:

"Let there be a craft made, or bought, as seemeth you good, it mattereth not unto me..." D&C 60:5 ("Which soup should I buy?")

"Wherefore, go ye and preach my gospel, whether to the north or to the south, to the east or to the west, it mattereth not, for ye cannot go amiss." D&C 80:3 ("Which route should I take?")

Does that mean that God has no plans for us, or that He desires to play no part in our lives? Of course not. It just means He doesn't concern Himself with unimportant things. I've also heard people say things like, "But if it's important to you, it's important to God, no matter how small it is." To that I say, not necessarily. That's why God has said many times, "It mattereth not unto me." In other words, "It doesn't bear any real importance on the course of your life, so you decide whatever you want." The choice is up to you - that's why you have free will.

That's not to say we should never seek divine guidance. Prayer is there for a reason. There are some very important decisions that should definitely be prayed about (i.e. careers, choosing a spouse, etc.). But even in those situations, God will probably not tell us exactly what to do. We're here to figure that out for ourselves, and to do that we have to make the hard decisions.

For example, I never asked the Lord who I should marry. Instead, I found a girl who felt right to me. She was a good person, I enjoyed being in her company, I cared about her deeply, we had similar values, and I felt that there was no one else I'd rather be with for the rest of my existence (luckily the feeling was mutual). When we both knew that, we made our decision, then asked the Lord if it was a good one. And you know what? He said yes. You're both good people and you obviously love each other - if you keep it up and work hard, you'll be able to make it last. You have my blessing - don't mess it up. (That's more or less what He said, anyway.)

But I also know people who believe that everything that happens to them is the will of the Lord. If virtually anything happens to them, they think it must have "happened for a reason." Oh - do we also believe in fate, then? Do we believe our lives are predestined, and that God has

planned out every part of our time on this earth? Does nothing we choose really matter, since God will place us on the right path anyway? Is everything that happens to us divine providence?

Now I'm quite confident when I say this...no. I think people assume God intervenes in our lives MUCH more than He actually does. Why didn't I get that job? The Lord must not have wanted me to get it. Why can't we have a baby? The Lord must be preparing us for something else. Why am I still single? Because my wife, who the Lord has hand-picked for me, is still out there, and we won't meet until March 2012.

I've railed about this in other posts (primarily on Facebook), but things don't necessarily "happen for a reason." Usually...life just happens - that's what we're here for, after all. The Lord does not give us trials in the sense that He causes them. What He does do, however, is allow life to happen, which of necessity means having trials. And then He teaches us and helps us to grow through the trials that life throws at us.

This isn't to say that things never "happen for a reason" - of course they do. The Lord wants to guide us, and He will sometimes give us pushes in the right direction. But there's a fine line between a gentle nudge, and believing absolutely everything that happens is God trying to tell us something.

I am so grateful for the knowledge I have of a loving Heavenly Father, and am also extremely grateful that I am able to make my own decisions - that I have the wonderful gift of agency.

-----

As a side note, my wife said to me jokingly that I should pray about the wording of this post, to make sure I said things just right. :)

Jason

This afternoon I attended a memorial service for my cousin, Jason David Oliver. He died Friday, Aug. 20, at his home in Palo Alto, California.

Jason and I were never incredibly close. Living far away does that to you. But a few months ago, he Facebook-messaged me. We chatted for about an hour, and it was a great conversation. Partway through it, he told me that his girlfriend had just gotten back from Provo. I asked why, since most non-LDS people never have reason to come here. :) He told me her best friend was Mormon, and was attending BYU. He also informed that one of his good friends was also Mormon, and he'd attended church with him in past. Jason said his friend had never pressured him to come to church, or join, but that he (Jason) enjoyed going. He then proceeded to tell me that he couldn't understand why some people would say such negative things about Mormons and our church, and felt they were so intolerant to act like that.

This whole conversation was so out of the blue for me, but I loved it. I loved it because we connected on a deeper level than we ever had before. And today, I listened to people I'd never met tell stories about this man. They spoke about his smile, about how he liked to make people laugh, about his accomplishments.

One man got up to speak. He said he met Jason in college. He was a little older than the traditional college student, and probably felt like he didn't fit in with the rest of the students. But he said that Jason was the kind of person who made you feel welcome. He went up to that man and sat by him, talked with him, made him feel included. Afterwards, I thanked the man for his words. We talked briefly, and then he gave me a hug. I could tell he had a great deal of love for Jason.

But his words really made me think about the kind of person I want to be. I hope that when I die, people will say about me that I was the kind of person who made others feel comfortable and included.

Odyssey

In a scene from a film adaptation of The Odyssey, Odysseus is at the brink of death in a storm. He yells at Poseidon, who is creating the storm. "What do you want me to learn?!"

Poseidon responds: "That without the gods, man is nothing!"

When Moses was called as a prophet, the Lord showed him all of creation. It must have been such an incredible experience. When the Lord was done, and Moses was left to his own strength, he fell down on the earth and couldn't get up for several hours. When he was finally able to stand, he said this: "Now, for this cause I know that man is nothing, which thing I never had supposed."

Sometimes life can be difficult. This is not to say that God causes the difficult things that happens in our lives. But he may allow them so that we will turn to Him. When the difficult times come to us in life, we can be like Moses and remember our strong foundation. When Satan tempted him and called him a son of man, telling him to worship the son of Perdition, he said, "Who art thou? For I am a son of God."

-----

Remember the words of your God; pray unto him continually by day, and give thanks unto his holy name by night. Let your hearts rejoice.

Sacrament Meeting

For those of you who are not of my faith, let me first explain a few things before I get into the main body of my message.

In our church, every Sunday we partake of what we call the sacrament (what other churches often call "the sacrament of the Lord's Supper"). It may surprise many that we have young men of 12-17 who typically bless and pass the sacrament. But we confer the authority to officiate in this ordinance to all worthy young men of that age. Those who bless the sacrament are 16 and older, and are ordained priests in the church. Those who are 12-13 are ordained deacons, and their primary responsibility is to pass the sacrament. They take this responsibilty seriously, and it is a wonderful sight to see them in their white shirts and ties, reverently administering the sacrament to the members of the church.

But I love watching these young men as they pass the sacrament. Because they take their calling so seriously, and are trying so hard to make sure it is a solemn and reverent experience for everyone there, sometimes it's a little humorous to watch.

Standard Sunday dress for men in our church is formal business attire: suits or slacks with white shirts and ties. When you're 12 and 13 years old, though, some of us are a bit smaller than others. That means that your tie width where it wraps around your neck can be just about the same width as your size 14 shirt collar. This often results in what we call the "deacon tie," where your tie sticks out from underneath your collar. One thing that makes me smile in our ward is a young man who has avoided this issue entirely by wearing bow ties. It's awesome.

I also like to watch the little rituals/customs that work their way into how the young men in each ward do things. I've moved around a lot and been in multiple wards, and everyone does it a little differently. I was in one ward where every young man would carry a sacrament tray in his right hand and place the back of his left hand on the small of his back, and walk throughout the chapel in that way. I can't lie - it looked kinda funny. :)

But my favorite part by far is the lining up at the end. When everyone has received the sacrament, the deacons line up at the back of both sides of the chapel (at least, this is how it is done in our current ward). When they are ready, the priests at the front of the chapel stand up, signaling to the deacons to come forward. Before this happens, though, there is always a lot of shuffling around, with one deacon (probably the bossy, know-it-all one like I was) pointing and whispering to the people in the wrong positions to go where they're supposed to be. That never ceases to bring a smile to my face. Mostly because it's not very important what order they're in. But to the young men, it is.

But despite the humor that abounds, the young men do a spectacular job of blessing and passing the sacrament.

Infomercials

Although an avid blog reader, I realize I haven't been the best at writing my own posts in a while. I figure now is as good a time as any to redeem myself. So here goes...

Who else loves those little wonders we call infomercials? Cuz I sure do. In fact, I'm a sucker for the section in Bed Bath & Beyond that is devoted to "As Seen on TV" items. Even though all of the tricks they use on these "paid advertising" spots are fairly obvious, I think I'm still very susceptible to their ploys.

Let's see if we can't break down how they make these snippets of television gold. First of all, you always have a host, who is very smiley, well-dressed, and attractive, who introduces the "expert" on the product (either the spokesperson or the actual creator of the product). The host is almost always a woman for some reason.

Next, a problem is presented by the expert. I will illustrate with examples from the most recent infomercial I watched: the new, improved G2 Swivel Sweeper Vac (10 million of the original have already been sold - get yours now!). In this case, the problem is that

traditional vacuum cleaners are just too difficult to deal with: they're too big, too heavy, can only go backwards and forwards (because they're limited by wheels), have long, unruly cords, etc., etc.

Then the new product is introduced. For our example, the new G2 Swivel Sweeper has its new "patented quad brush technology." It can pick up what your vacuum can't, it can get into spaces where other vacuums can't, can swivel 360 degrees, it only weighs 2 pounds, it has no cords, etc., etc.

Next we cut to a montage of the product doing its thing with an incredibly perky person explaining how amazing it is, as well as showing us how to buy it. Then we cut back to the host and spokesperson, who also demonstrate the product, showing how simple and easy it is to use (and yes, they often use both "simple" and "easy" in one sentence). More montages, more demonstrations, more montages, more demonstrations, til the half-hour commercial is over.

And there are almost always some built-in phrases, like "But wait, that's not all..." or "Are you tired of..." or "If you call in the next 10 minutes, we'll throw in..." I know they're so predictable, but I love them! I love learning about these new and exciting products. Personally, I want to invent the next Snuggie and make a million dollars.

Mitch Hedburg said that they always sell these products for four easy payments of $19.99. "I would like to have a product that was available for three easy payments, and one complicated payment! We ain't gonna tell you which payment it is, but one of these payments is gonna be hard!"

But here is a list of our (Kristen and my) favorite infomercials/products. We actually own some of them:

Magic Bullet (my favorite infomercial of all time - and I love our Magic Bullet)

Mighty Mend-it - doesn't work as good as it says it does, but it's not bad

Iron Gym (pull-up bar) - I used this almost every day when I was doing P90X

Windshield Wonder - This works great on our car windshield

Shark Steam Mop - I want this

ShamWow! - whether it works or not, that infomercial is sure entertaining

Ahh Bra - Kristen's new favorite to watch

Snuggie - when these first came out, the best part was the kids at the sports game trying to hi-five, and their blankets got in the way

Swivel Sweeper (vac) - it's awesome in the dramatizations where they keep running the vacuum into the table because it can't get under as well as the Swivel Sweeper

What are YOUR favorite infomercials/products?

UPDATE - Hole in the Wall

Who puts a pipe behind a living room wall?

When we moved to our little apartment in Orem in November, we started trying to make the place into a home. That meant arranging all of our furniture, putting up photos and paintings, and of course, setting up the surround sound. Little did I realize that when I drilled into the wall to put in an anchor for the speaker, I would drill into a pipe!

But this wasn't a regular pipe, so it didn't burst and start spraying water everywhere. No, this was a drainage pipe for the upstairs neighbor's kitchen sink. So it...um, trickled. We put up the speakers in November. Around May, we started noticing that the carpet in the corner of the house was wet. We called our landlady about it, but it took her a couple weeks before she came over and looked at it. Then she called in a handyman, who also took a week or two to get over here. Today he cracked open the wall to reveal, duh duh duh! A pipe with a hole in it. Fantastic.

Now our landlady will probably want to get us to pay for the damage and repairs. I sure hope not, though, because, honestly, who puts a pipe behind a living room wall?

**UPDATE**

Our landlady is making us take care of (and pay for) the repairs. Luckily, my good friend Gavin is helping us with it. Hallelujah! The most ridiculous thing, after living in this house, was what she asked me when I said I had someone coming to do the repairs: "Is he a professional?" He is, but I should have said, "Why? Almost nothing else in this apartment was done by a professional."

The heat for the apartment is provided by a gas fireplace that was added after the fact. They didn't even cut out the carpet - just put it on top (oh, and there are two ugly holes on either side of it that don't belong). The wire for the control is just dangling along the wall, and all along the edge of the carpet. There is a hole cut in the master bedroom wall with a fan set in place, and a cord hanging down to plug into the outlet below, because the heat from the fireplace won't go throughout the house without it, or something like that.

Every patch job that has been done in this place (aside from the one Gavin is doing) is clearly visible, and was done very poorly. The grout lines in the bathtub seems to have been painted, or something, and I think there was mold at some point, but they painted over it / caulked over it, so there were black spots coming through. I scraped out the old caulk and redid it myself, and did the best I could with the rest of the grout - it really needs to be completely redone. There is also a hole in the kitchen ceiling where the upstairs neighbors' washer leaked and came through. They have a piece of plywood over it, with a 2x4 holding that up. Is the guy I have coming to help a professional? Yeah - he's better than anyone else you've ever hired.

Anyway, here's a picture of where we are right now:

Ah, United

I come to you today from Gate 7 in the Sioux Falls, South Dakota airport. With a population of 150,000 people (for comparison, Provo/Orem has about 200,000 residents), Sioux Falls is not a huge city. The airport is likewise of diminutive stature. Knowing this, this morning I woke up at 5:45 a.m., showered, grabbed my things, and headed to the airport for my 6:57 a.m. flight. I was a little concerned about cutting it close, but I had no checked bags, so I wasn't worried.

When I got up to the ticket counter, the ticket agents asked if I was flying to Denver. I said yes (as I tried to use the self-service check-in machine). They then informed me that I couldn't check in, because I didn't do it at least 30 minutes before the flight. I got there at 6:30 a.m. I said, are you serious? I can make it to the gate. They said the reason for this is that at 30 minutes before the flight, the gate agent can give away your seat to standby ticket holders. Okay, but then she informs me that this WASN'T THE CASE THIS TIME! And then says I STILL COULDN'T CHECK IN FOR THE FLIGHT!!!

She then made me pay a $75 fee to change my flight to 1:30 p.m. So now, instead of arriving in Salt Lake City at 10 a.m., I will get home at 6 p.m. I walked (slowly) through security (I was the only one there), then to gate 7 (they only have eight gates), and then watched as my plane (that I wasn't on) sat at the gate for a good 25 minutes (it was late leaving).

Thanks United for being so courteous to your customers. Normally I would say the moral of this story is to leave a little earlier for your flight (which is still true). But in this situation, I'd say the moral of the story is NEVER FLY UNITED.

Do you find it hard to do your duty?

It's been a rough couple of weeks. Several people from work have been out of the office, leaving the rest of us to take care of their work. I also have a new client who is a bit more demanding than...well, any other client I've ever had (especially for the amount of revenue they bring in).

But basically, I've been exhausted for the last two weeks. I haven't gotten a lot of sleep, I haven't exercised at all, I sometimes don't have time to eat lunch - it's just been rough. Even at home, I constantly check my phone for any emergencies that could have cropped up in the last fifteen minutes. That makes me feel bad for my wife, whose husband seems to always be on call.

So, after feeling frustrated and overwhelmed, I spoke with my dad on the phone the other day for a while. He helped me to see things that I hadn't seen before, and helped me feel a lot better. One of the things he told me was a quote from Gladiator.

Maximus: "Cicero."

Cicero: "Sir?"

Maximus: "Do you find it hard to do your duty?"

Cicero: "Sometimes I do what I want to do. The rest of the time, I do what I have to do."

Those are my feelings on the current situation. I can't control how someone treats me - I can only control my reaction. Sometimes I will get to do what I want to do, but I have a family to provide for, so for the most part, I will do my duty. I will do what I have to do to provide support for me and my family. I will persevere.

Elder Zach

I'm very proud of my "little" brother. Right now he is serving as a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Charlotte, North Carolina. I call him my "little" brother because he's actually bigger than me. I remember the days when I was the tallest member of my family. Those were good times. All two of them. I've gotten used to the fact that the only sibling I'll be taller than is my sister, but I remember when Zachary passed me up. It was a little disheartening. Then Jacob passed me too. It's only a matter of time before Lucas shoots past all of us. Oh well - that's life.

It's so funny to see the physical differences of Zach then and Zach now. We dubbed him "Stick Boy" when he was younger, because of how skinny he was. Now he could take any of us in a fight (except me, because I have the older brother psychological advantage...and because I've been working out).

Zach is a about seven years younger than me, so when he was younger, he was the pesky little brother. You know, the one who followed you around, wanted to be just like you, got into your toys, etc. The one who, although you didn't know it at the time, could be your best friend if you'd let him. I still have regrets for not being as kind to him as I wish I was, because I love him so much. As I've gotten older, I've realized how similar our personalities and senses of humor are. I think in all my family, aside from my Dad, he and I are the most alike.

When he was at BYU for his freshman year, we would hang out just about every week. We would usually do some kind of activity (movies or racquetball), then go get dinner. I let him pay once, cuz he wanted to. :) Towards the end of the school year, we didn't do it every week, because of all the wedding plans and whatnot, so I'm excited for him to be back, so we can resume the fun times.

I'm not the best letter writer. For the first few weeks I wrote every week, but I've slacked off a bit. I hope he knows that doesn't mean I've forgotten about him, or that I don't miss him. Because I think about him a lot and miss him a ton. Come home soon Elder!

Living With Women...

After nearly a year of wedded bliss, I think I know a thing or two about living with a woman. :) It's a lot different than living with guys, that's for sure. For one, it's more crowded. I don't think it's just my wife - I think all women just have a ton of stuff. I don't know where they get it, or why they keep so much of it around, but they do. Especially clothes. Girls tend to still have clothes they wore in middle school and they usually still wear them now. There's no way I could fit into anything from middle school. I was 4'9" and probably weighed about 85 pounds.

On occasion while my wife is getting ready in the bathroom, I'll wander into the bedroom and see about 50 outfits on the bed, or in a pile on the floor (50 may be a slight exaggeration). This was strange and confusing to me, until my wife explained it (then it was just strange). Apparently, even though they own the clothes and have worn them dozens of times before, they can't decide what to wear just by looking at the clothes hanging up in the closet. They have to take them out and see how they look with other clothing combinations. Then, after she decides it looks good and gets dressed, she could change her mind while getting ready looking in the mirror, and have to start all over again. Hence all the clothes on the bed.

Speaking of getting ready in the bathroom, girls multiply the amount of stuff you have in the bathroom by a factor of about 10 (or so). Luckily (for me), we have a small bathroom that doesn't really have a counter, so she can't leave her blow dryer, hair straightener, hair curler (yes, sometimes she uses both the straightener and curler on the same day), hair spray, spray gel, makeup, etc. on it. But when we did have a counter, she would leave it out (although to be fair, she's pretty good about putting stuff away). Oh yeah, and then there's hair everywhere, and the floor is usually a little sticky from hair spray. Sometimes Kristen jokes that she's going bald with all the hair she seems to lose.

Living with a woman is definitely an adventure, but it's also awesome. There's no cleaning off the toilet seat because someone missed and didn't wipe it off. There are no beard hairs all around the sink (except when I'm the one who doesn't clean up). The house doesn't stink because someone has been playing WoW for 3 days straight without showering, and won't open a window. And then there's the best part of all - she's my wife!

Reflections on Utah

I've lived in Utah more or less since August 2004. I had a couple partial summers away, but that's close to six years, which is really longer than I've lived anywhere else in my life. I miss the beauty of the Pacific Northwest, but Utah is beautiful in its own way too. The mountains are gorgeous (especially in the winter), and I love being able to look out over the valley from our front porch. Last night, Kristen and I went on a walk around our neighborhood, and it truly is beautiful up here.

Utah definitely has its quirks. First of all, there's all the stinkin' Mormons! :) But honestly, it's a different experience to be able to discuss church things at work, with neighbors, landlords, etc. To not be able to go into a restaurant after 8 p.m. on the Saturday evening after General Conference, because there are millions of guys in shirts and ties everywhere.

And the weather is ridiculous. It snowed this week. And yet, yesterday evening it was sunny and warm, and we went for a walk in short sleeves, without jackets. Crazy "spring" weather.

My aunt mentioned in her blog recently that their church was "only 9 miles away." And in Oregon, my parents drive about 15 minutes to get to church. When we moved to Orem, we complained a little that church was "so far away." It's only one mile from our house, but that's far if you consider we walked one and a half minutes to church in Springville (literally right around the corner).

In Utah (or at least in Utah Valley), it's a strange site to see someone smoking in public, or to have someone put alcohol or coffee up on the grocery store conveyor belt behind you. It's just that you don't see those things very often (at least I don't). I've been acclimated so much to the way the majority of people act here, that it can be weird when you see things out of the ordinary.

I'm glad that I still live on a street with a name. Most everywhere, the streets are just numbers (i.e. 600 S. 200 W.), which is great for giving directions. But I've almost always lived somewhere with a street that has a name: Mountain Oaks Dr., Swenson Ave., University Ave., Chenin Blanc Dr., Heartwood Dr., Noble Ct., etc. For me, it makes where you live more like it's home. I don't know why - it's a psychological thing. Ironically, my parents now live on SE 199th Dr.

All in all, Utah's not bad. It's grown on me. :)

Date Night

In Elder's Quorum the other week, we had a lesson that talked about strengthening the bond between fathers and children. A great topic, to be sure. The teacher asked the question, "How do you as fathers strengthen that bond with your children, or how have you observed your own father do that?"

One of the most common remarks was something along these lines. "I have an individual 'date night' with each of my children on a regular basis, where we spend time together, go out to eat, etc." At work, my boss mentioned that his wife does this with each of their boys too. I think that's a great idea. Spending some one-on-one time with each of your kids in a structured, scheduled way like this can be a great way to show them how much they mean to you. It's that "quality time" we always hear so much about. It's like how you make sure to take time out for a date night with your wife at least once a week - some time to remind her that she's your number one priority. My parents never really did this with me, but to be honest, I don't feel bad about that. I don't feel like I missed out on something that "could've been."

I did spend time with my parents. My dad always has a project he's working on. If it's not remodeling something in the house, it's working in the yard. Saturday mornings, he'd regularly say, "Wanna come with me?" on his way to run an errand to the store (usually the hardware store - I think it was through this that I developed a love of hardware stores). Often, we'd stop by the gas station for a soda and a candy bar on our way back.

And he'd talk to me. I wasn't much of a talker then, but he'd talk to me. He'd tell me stories about his childhood, about his life, about what was going on with work. And I loved listening to his stories. I'm sure sometimes he probably wondered if any of it was getting through, because I don't think I responded much. But it did - it always did. I just wish I'd taken the opportunity to take those drives with him more often.

I knew he cared about me and what was going on with me, because he spent time with me. He wasn't so tired at the end of the day that he didn't want to spend time with his family. Sometimes it was quality time, but sometimes it was just "quantity time." I think it's so important to just be there for your family.

Often I hear so much about how important it is to really work hard to get ahead in your career. And I would never criticize someone else for their choices, but my career is not so important to me that I want to sacrifice family time in order to get ahead. Don't get me wrong - I believe in hard work, and think it's important to give 100% when you're on the job. I learned that from my dad. But I don't think you have to regularly put in 80-hour weeks to give it your all. And if that means that my family is never going to have the big house and lots of fun toys, and I have to continue to work and save all my life, I'm okay with that.

But you know what? I think you can work hard and get ahead, and still not sacrifice that coveted time with your family to do it. It requires good organization, careful planning and hard work, but it can happen. I'm grateful for parents who worked hard, but still managed to find time to spend with me, and that's what I'm aiming for too.

Christmas Letter

I know it's late, but I finally found a way to share our Christmas letter on the blog-o-sphere, for those of you who didn't get it via e-mail. Happy reading!

One Year Ago Today

One year ago today...

...I was nervous all day.
...I went to BYU to have a nice chat with the father of my girlfriend, Kristen Southerland.
...I had a sore throat.
...I drove to various locations in Provo/Orem and dropped off little items.
...I went to the Old Spaghetti Factory on a double date, then we (the guys) "ditched" our dates at the end of the meal.
...I knelt down in the snow at a playground, and asked my best friend to marry me.

...I was the happiest I'd ever been.

My beautiful bride: Kristen Marie

Red Box

Kristen and I enjoy using the Red Box. We've typically had success in finding movies we enjoy. But every so often, we'll see a movie on there with actors we know, but that we've never heard of. We read the description, and think, "That sounds interesting. Let's get it." This, my friends, is what we call a mistake. Do NOT do this.

Horrible movies we've sat through, that you should never EVER rent:

Battle for Terra - This was an 84-minute, animated waste of time. This seemed to be a Ferngully meets Dances With Wolves meets Avatar, but without any of the clever dialogue or interesting plot lines. The animation also left something to be desired.

Year One - The trailer looked funny, but trust me - all the funny parts were in that two-minute montage. This is a raunchy, distasteful, completely unfunny movie, and I still don't know why we didn't turn it off after the first 10 minutes or so.

Babylon A.D. - The plot was so convoluted, with so many loose ends, that I still don't know what happened. Hadn't heard of it, but it was a cool-looking action movie with Vin Diesel. Don't let those kinds of things distract you from the fact that you've NEVER HEARD OF IT (most likely for good reason).

Passengers - This movie wanted to be The Sixth Sense, but failed miserably. We got it because it had Anne Hathaway in it - she's usually pretty decent. And to be fair, this was the least horrible of the movies, but it still wasn't that good.

But we haven't failed miserably. We've also done the smart thing, and rented movies we wanted to see again (that we saw in the theater), or movies that either one or both of us missed when they were in the theater.

17 Again - I really liked this movie. It's not winning any Oscars, but it was an enjoyable film to watch.

G.I. Joe - I grew up on this show, and the movie didn't disappoint. It was great in the theater, it was great on the T.V.

The Proposal - Not an amazing movie, but still quite enjoyable. Sandra Bullock is always funny, and is in really good shape for a 45-year-old. No, I take that back - she's in really good shape for a 25-year-old.

Star Trek - Awesome. Just, awesome. Saw it in theaters, had to watch it again. Come to think of it, did I see it in the dollar theater too? I'm waiting for a sale at Best Buy to get it on Blu-ray.

Julie & Julia - This was a fondue movie. That is, you don't have to pay incredibly close attention to it in order to follow what's going on. We made fondue while watching this one, and had quite a good time doing it.

Seminary

I recently read an article about the Canyons School District in Utah, which is considering offering more advanced high school diplomas. The idea behind this is that they are behind in preparing students for college and the real world. The issue they're facing in the LDS community is that requiring extra credits for these new diplomas could cut into the time allowed for released-time seminary, which has some people worried.

Personally, I don't see what the problem is - I applaud the steps the school district is taking to increase the education level in Utah. Utah schools are among the lowest in the country for required core course load (18 core credits; Arizona requires 22, New Mexico 24, and Texas 26). The new advanced diploma would require 22 credits, allowing for only one elective. I took four years of early-morning seminary and a full load of classes in high school. My freshman year, Spanish counted as an elective, and so did band. Because I was taking an extra elective, I had to take the after-school P.E. class. This was in addition to early-morning seminary.

Would it hurt Utah LDS students to sacrifice a little more to attend seminary, rather than taking time off from their high school studies to go? Maybe more of the kids who attended would have a positive experience, and I know that fewer would take it for granted.

What are your thoughts? I know many of you attended released-time seminary. Do you think you would have benefited more (or less) from early-morning seminary? I want to hear your opinions.